Approaching 40: Intro and Health
The first in a series of articles about my upcoming "milestone" birthday
The changing of the secular year to 2025 and the current date means that there is less than 12 weeks until my 40th birthday, please God. In many societies, as is seen in the quote above from Avot (Ethics of Fathers) 5:21 that describes the various stages of one’s life, reaching this age is given a lot of significance. And, being that a lot of my friends are the same age as me, I thought that I would maybe impart some of the “wisdom” I have acquired during the stage between “becoming-of-age” and turning “middle-aged”.
The translation used here is “wisdom” but could also be translated as “understanding”. I think this is a good word to use as well because at 40 you are still young enough to remember your childhood, and can now understand your life and also your children’s lives without being too far out of touch.
This idea came to me after my previous post where I visited my post-high school yeshiva after 20 years. 20 years seems to be the least amount of time it takes for things to change completely. Language has changed (skibidi, anyone), the world order has changed, generations are counted in sets of 20 years, and so on. Perhaps this is why turning 40 is such a big deal, for it is the amount of time it takes for one’s adulthood and to a lesser extent, their childhood, to no longer be fully relevant. Another name for 20 is a “score”, which I think means more like “scoring a line/scratching something out” than adding a point in a game (though the origin is the same). 20 years is enough to “score” out the past and focus on what is ahead.
It may also stem from the fact that in previous centuries, 40 was sort of the beginning of the end. Life expectancy was between 45-55 (even less) so reaching 40 was quite the milestone.
The 40th birthday of my father (Hashem should bless him with many years of health) is one of my earliest childhood memories. And while I don’t have a big party planned for my 40th birthday (stay tuned for what I do have planned) perhaps I can make my own birthday even more memorable and meaningful by writing down some of my thoughts.
So, readers of my blog, I would like to present to you a series of posts that cover various areas of most people’s lives at this age: health, money, family life, contentments and regrets, indispensable items/daily life, and career. I’ll try my best to be honest and thorough, and feel free to add in the comments anything else you may want to add to these points.
I want to also point out this excellent (for the most part) video about good habits to have in your 30s that just came out on one of the channels I watch often.
My intro didn’t take nearly as much space as I thought so I present to you the first in the series: Health
Health
Obviously, maintaining good health when reaching 40 is at the front of everyone’s mind, as without health, pretty much nothing else matters. A source for this can be seen in the Shmoneh Esrei, the main part of the Jewish daily prayers. In this prayer, the blessing for health, comes before the blessing for sustenance, implying that health is the basis for being able to survive and be successful financially. This is one reason why I am starting the series with a focus on health. I also have a Master’s degree in public health so I am slightly qualified to speak about these things as well.
Physical Health
Physicals
Back in the US, I was pretty good about acting on my God (Legislatively) given right to an annual physical. There is also a lot of evidence that the annual physical is a good way to catch health problems before they arise. In Israel, this seems to be less of a thing, so much so to the point that my kids’ pediatrician actively encourages his patients to come in once a year. My physician is less enthusiastic about this, possibly because he spends most of his days with those who have larger health issues and can’t dedicate the time to also tracking everyone’s physicals. For now he tells me to get my blood checked every 2-5 years and then come in to discuss, which I think is a good balance.
A big difference between physicians here and in America is that my doctor (a religious Jew himself) is also concerned about my spiritual and mental well-being. He likes knowing what I am learning and I personally think that one of the benefits of attending minyan on a regular basis is that there is a group of people who will look out for you if you start not showing up for a few days in a row. My physician is also always there should I need something like following a virus or other digestive issues and he has been a good resource on the rare occasions I have needed a referral to other parts of the system.
Bottom line: see your doctor and follow his/her recommendations.
Workout routines/Apple fitness/other apps/personal trainer
Staying in shape is something everyone wants to do but often times can be difficult to execute on. I myself go through different phases. Following my last physical, I was told to drop several pounds (ok, kilograms) and I have been working towards that goal for 6 months now, mostly through diet (more on that later), though also through exercise. I have found that my weight correlates very strongly to how different parts of my body feel, as remember, every pound you are lighter (to a healthy extent of course) is one less pound your bones and muscles are carrying every time you take a step. There are a few things that have helped me in this journey.
1. YouTube videos
YouTube is such a great place, to the point that I say it is the best streaming value out there. As such, it is a great place to find workout videos. I have a few go-tos that I made into a playlist, and I try and do those a few times a week. They are mostly floor exercises as I don’t have a lot of open space in my apartment, but guess what, there are also YouTubers who don’t have a lot of room in their apartments either, and they have tons of different routines for you to do. I have found less success with dedicated fitness apps for the phone, as I’m not willing to pay to be locked into the same 7 videos all the time.
2. Personal trainer
My company is kind enough to provide me with a physical fitness allowance that I use to have a personal trainer come to my house once a month to workout with me and give me additional workouts to do in between the YouTube videos. I don’t have access to a car during the day, otherwise I would probably also get a personal trainer at a gym. The value added they give to a workout is not quantifiable because when you work out on your own, you’re going to give up too soon. To me, the job of a personal trainer is to know your limits and push you towards them, and then also make sure your limits are extended over time. They can also modify exercises around things that may hurt, which is something YouTubers can’t do. In theory, a stronger you means a healthier you, and I also find that if I exercise, I don’t really get sick, so that is a benefit as well.
3. Apps, public transit
I do have a step/calorie goal set on my iPhone, but I have thus far resisted getting an Apple Watch. I used to have a Fitbit, but I ultimately found it more annoying than helpful. I take public transit to work and lots of other places whenever I can, and the use of public transit is correlated with better health outcomes, mostly because of the walking involved. I can’t stand going for runs, as I find it incredibly boring, but I do sometimes join a friend or two on a nightly run just to be social.
Diet (science based)
What do I eat? This too has changed in recent times, especially following my last meeting with my physician where he said I need to lose some weight. So now my diet goes like this.
⁃ I eat the leftover cereal from my youngest daughter and have a glass of water and part of an apple leftover from making lunches for my kids
⁃ I may or may not eat half a bowl of cereal around 9 AM.
⁃ I eat a salad containing protein for lunch. Most often the protein is meat-based which is a. tasty, b. has the benefit of making me not able to eat dairy products for the 6 hours following because I follow the laws of Kashrut.
⁃ I’ll have an apple around 2 PM
⁃ I’ll eat a small carb for a snack around 4 PM
⁃ Dinner can be a carb and I try to go easy and not eat too much
Switching to salad has done great things, mostly that I am not tired in the afternoon since I am not subject to a large glucose dip following my eating of the salad. I would like to try and have some more dairy-based salads but cheese is way more expensive than meat (especially since I often use deli meats, I know not so good).
The reason for how I eat is because while low carbohydrate intake may not be fully proven to help with weight loss or maintaining weight it is still a good way to have a filling, yet low-calorie meal during the day. Cutting out carbs completely is just too difficult for me, but combined with eating breakfast later in the morning has I think contributed to my minor weight loss in recent months. I have stayed away from all of these health fads which I find are more often discrete marketing attempts to try and get you to buy more expensive products that have minimal to no actual benefit from a scientific standpoint.
Biological Age
If you read through the internet enough, you’ll find some talk about chronological age vs. biological age. In other words, is your body actually as old as it is in time. Mostly I think this is croc and all be explained by standard deviations, however, there is quite the funny scene about this in Silicon Valley. I personally don’t usually feel as old as I actually am so I guess that is a good thing, though I don’t think I feel like I am 30 either.
Mental Health
Anger Management
The one time I needed help from another part of the healthcare system was to deal with a mental health issue that could best be summarized as anger management. In this case I wrote to my physician and asked him for names of people who might be able to help me. He sent back a list of names (I took the second one on the list - never go for the first) and reached out. I attended six sessions with the psychologist who was able to pinpoint the areas where I was most vulnerable to my reactions, and then give me tools and perspective to avoid such reactions. It was a very good investment of my time and money and there are probably areas in everyone’s life where talking things out with a professional could be beneficial.
Bottom line: don’t “be a man” and avoid talking about issues. Get them fixed, and no one is going to care. I think this stigma is decreasing but there is still a long way to go.
Routine mixed with out-of-the-ordinary
I have written elsewhere on this blog about the importance of mixing up your routine occasionally. And here too, like everything else, balance is necessary. I lately have not been so good about getting out and doing things, but also writing this blog has helped cement memories and make time not feel as fast. But it is still important to get out, and then possibly just as important to record what you have done. Routine also has its place as it is something you can come to rely on and having things be unpredictable is not good for one’s mental health either.
Preventing Alzheimer’s
To me, the scariest disease is Alzheimer’s. Luckily, research around this terrible disease is increasing, and I am hopeful that I will be among the first that will have access to a drug (or a vaccine) that will help prevent or at least slow its progression. I do not have a genetic predisposition to the disease, but I think that the science around its genetic origins is not yet solidified.
In any case, I think I will either ask my parents to bring me an English crossword puzzle book the next time they come, or download an application, though I imagine the benefits are greater doing them by hand, not to mention the reduction in screen time.
See this ChatGPT discussion which covers many of the points I just made about Alzheimer’s.
Going to sleep on time
The last thing which I think contributes to overall good health (mental and physical) is getting a good night’s sleep. I wake up early just about every day of the week, so getting enough sleep makes it easy to get up and also manage my day without caffeine (that’s correct, I have never drank a cup of coffee). I’m typically in bed between 9:45 (21:45) and 10:00 (22:00) where I read (or sometimes I’m bad and watch some YouTube) for 15ish minutes and then go to sleep. Waking up is generally a breeze, though in the dark winter months it can be tough (but I think this is a typical human reaction).
Summary and Conclusion
All-in-all, I would consider myself, thank God, to be in generally good health for my age. I can still chase after my kids and have a fun time in the park with them. When the weather is nice I go for bike rides and hikes either on my own or with my wife or my kids (sometimes even all of us together!). I am self-aware enough to know when I need to get help whether physically or mentally. There are always things I could do better (like working out 3 times a week instead of 2, or maybe seeing the doctor more often) but isn’t that really a good chunk of what life is? Finding places to improve and then acting upon them? That right there is a healthy approach if I ever saw one.
Look for an installment in this series every other Monday until my birthday in early April.